Ask WordMum: Complementary vs Complimentary
This month we’re diving into praise, gifts, and free things! Things we all deserve more of. Read on to learn more about which words to use for each.
Our Question
How do I know when something is complementary and when it is complimentary?
What’s the difference between a complement and a compliment?
WordMum Says
These words are ones I always have to look up to make sure I have the right spelling! They differ in only one small vowel, both express positive sentiments, and they have subtly but distinctly different meanings.
As usual, let’s break them down and look at each one individually.
Complement (noun, verb) Complementary (adjective)
The spelling with an ‘e’ refers to a grouping or things that go together well.
Often, these things enhance each other, so it’s used where the sum of the things is greater than its parts. In this way, a jacket may complement an outfit by suiting it really well, and a condiment may complement a meal by enhancing a particular flavour.
It can also refer to a complete group, such as a full complement of staff or soldiers.
Compliment (noun, verb) Complimentary (adjective)
This word refers to expressions of praise, admiration, or congratulations. Giving someone a compliment means you are praising them, like telling them you like their hair. A complimentary comment is similarly a positive expression about something.
It also refers to something supplied for free. When something is complimentary, like service or a drink, that means you don’t have to pay for it. Like praise, this is a gift someone (or something, like a business or organisation) is giving you.
How to remember which is which
The key is to remember that the difference is a gift vs teaming up. Gift has an ‘i’ in it, so we want the spelling with an ‘i’. There’s no ‘i’ in team, so we want the spelling with the ‘e’ when we’re talking about things that go well together.
Example Time!
We’ve got a strategy, so let’s see how it works in the wordy world.
After the bookshelf fell over, it took a whole complement of librarians to sort it out
What a horrific image! Not the books! Thank goodness for librarians.
As for which spelling of the word we need, here we’re clearly talking about a team of librarians. There’s no ‘i’ in team, so we want the spelling with the ‘e’.
If you want to compliment a librarian, though, you probably should. They deserve it!
He paid her a compliment before walking out
This one is about someone giving another person something; in this case, praise. Because it is a gift (or it is being given) and not anything teaming up, we know we want the spelling with an ‘i’.
This example also reflects a common phrasing when it comes to praise or expressions of admiration. Compliments are often paid to a person. In this usage, paid is another word for given and it doesn’t mean any exchange has happened (that is, the compliment can be unprompted and paid freely, without expectation of reciprocation).
The jacket didn’t complement her skin tone
This means that the jacket doesn’t work well with the person’s skin tone, which means they don’t team together nicely. This can happen if the colour of the jacket clashes with the person’s skin tone and makes them look sickly or just a terrible shade. The teaming concept gives us the ‘e’ spelling.
If the jacket didn’t compliment her skin tone, that would mean it wasn’t praising her skin. The implication is that it is making some kind of (literal) statement about the person’s skin, though. So it might have written on the back: ‘Your skin is pasty like sad mayonnaise.’ How rude! It’s also somewhat infeasible, so this probably isn’t the spelling you want.
The meal came with a complementary glass of wine
This phrase is a little trickier because either word works here. The one you choose alters the meaning of the sentence.
If you use the spelling in the sentence above (complementary), it means the wine complements the meal. So you’ll get a glass of wine that suits the palate of the meal, and it’s either included in the meal price or will be added to your bill.
If you use the other spelling (complimentary), it means you get a free glass of wine with the meal. You’ll likely have to choose which wine you get, so it’s up to you whether it also complements the meal.
The difference of one letter in this word is the difference between having to pay for the wine or not!
I hope that clears things up and helps good (and free!) things come your way! If you have another way to remember how to use these words, I’d love to hear about them.
If you want to catch up on existing posts, check out dedicated page that lists them all for you, in alphabetical order. If this post, or any others, reminded you of similar tricky words you’d like help with, let WordMum know.
See you next month for more wordy wisdom!